The Gift
Our Pets: Sammi
Posted on June 15, 2009 at 7:50 am
Today, May 2, 2009, Sammi's back legs stopped working. They had been getting weaker each day and although we had hoped she would make it to her 16th birthday on July 4th, she was unable to do so.
Sammi was put to rest and her gift to me was a lesson of understanding heartbreak. When Sammi came to us, she was very upset. So upset that I called an animal telepathist who lived 1500+ miles away to help me to help Sammi. The telepathist believed that Sammi had spent her life trying to be such a good dog and please her family to the best of her ability. Then, one May 2007 day, her family puts her on an airplane and she lands in a whole new world, with people and other dogs who she has never met before, in a land she has never experienced. Sammi was not from the north east. Sammi did not understand why she was dejected from her pack. When could she go home again? What could she do to earn the right to be back with the people she loved and the places she felt most comfortable spending her time?
I explained to Sammi that the military that called her family to Korea did not allow dogs to follow along and that although her family would have taken her with them, they couldn't and they were upset that they couldn't take her. Instead of sending her to a shelter with an unknown future, they placed a plea on the internet for help, and we volunteered to be there for Sammi, sight unseen.
I can talk about many Sammi stories that have happened over the past 2 years. A chip of skull fell out into her sinuses (perhaps it was weakened due to a previous injury?) and her head filled with air and rose quite high. After reconstructive surgery to fix the bone fragment that had fallen off, Sammi's head went back to normal size. But, instead of talking about Sammi's stories, I want to talk about Sammi's gift.
I believe that all of us have experienced heartbreak like Sammi felt. We have devoted our time and energy to a specific person, job, or even place only to get rejected from it and have to walk away feeling like we gave our all yet the person, employer, or place that we fixed up or created not only doesn't appreciate us but doesn't want to ever see us again, ever. We are banned from what we loved and from what we thought was a noble and good contribution. Oftentimes, we gave the very best that we could and went above the call of duty, only to get ostracized from the person, task, or place.
Like Sammi, we don't understand why. Why, if we were doing such a good job does this person, employer, or place not want me to ever be with them or at this location again? Why? I did my best, and now I get a pain like I have never felt before, that hurts to a very deep core, in return for giving my all. Why?
I think the answer lies in the fact that by doing noble work or being loyally devoted and even sacrificing above and beyond what we may have really wanted to sacrifice for the cause (that is, we had to work to sacrifice and discipline ourselves to do it, convincing ourselves that in so doing, we were choosing the righteous path), that we expected a joyful and positive feeling and even reward in return. But why do we expect this? Because movies brainwash us to fantacize that good works pay off? Why do we choose to believe that devotion and endurance wins and gives us what we personally want? The truth is, we chose to take those actions, and those actions should be appreciated for the act, in itself, irrespective of any outcome. We acted that way because the action gave us pleasure. The outcome is a totally separate and best if thought of as unrelated consequence. The means are the reward, not the end.
If we think this way, then it is easier to reconcile, understand and accept all outcomes. And, this is what Sammi taught me. Sammi was a proud, noble, independent, and strong beagle who took care of herself and kept rising in the face of hardship and pain. And, she made it through heartbreak.
That lesson is her gift to me. My gift to her is the ability to bear the pain of losing her after knowing her only 2 years. Adopting older pets is emotionally taxing because their death is never easy to handle. Seeing Sammi so peaceful was comforting, I have to admit, but we all wish that our pets could live longer than they do. Their little lives are just so short. So many people avoid adopting older pets because they fear the pain of the pet's death. The ability to accept that pain is the gift that we gave to Sammi, knowing that she would touch our lives in such a rich way, and accepting her to do so knowing that her time with us would be limited.
God Bless Sammi: A Noble Beagle and Giver of Life.